Comparing yourself to others is a common problem. We often compare ourselves to others because we want to feel better about ourselves.
But there’s a big difference between wanting to feel better about ourselves and actually feeling better about ourselves. If you compare yourself to others, you’ll never feel good enough, it can affect your mental health and you’ll fall into the comparison trap.
Theodore Roosevelt once stated something like this: “Comparison is the thief of joy”, and he was right! If you are comparing yourself to other people, then you will always be unhappy. You have to stop this habit if you really want to live happily in life.
You can learn to stop comparing yourself to others by focusing on yourself instead. You don’t have to be perfect or even likable in order for you to succeed in life. In fact, if you focus too much on being liked, you may end up doing things that aren’t really right for your own happiness.
If you keep thinking about how great it would be to fit into someone else’s idea of what makes them happy, then you won’t ever find true satisfaction with who you are as an individual.
Find out what’s setting you off
It can be hard to accept that you are not perfect, but if you compare yourself to other people, you may feel like you have to live up to their standards. Social comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
When you start looking at the way you think, you’ll realize that most of the time when you’re unhappy, you’re comparing yourself to some idealized version of another person. For example: “I’m so fat! I wish I were thinner.” Or “My hair isn’t long enough; my friends all seem more beautiful than me.”
The answer lies within our subconscious mind. When we compare ourselves to others, we create negative thoughts inside our minds which cause us to believe that we are inadequate. These beliefs become part of our identity. They define who we are.
You need to find out what’s setting you off. Ask yourself questions such as these:
- What do I dislike about myself?
- Why am I dissatisfied with myself?
- How does this make me feel?
- Do I see any evidence of this belief in my daily actions?
The answers will help you understand why you compare yourself to others. Once you know where those constant comparisons come from, you can change them.
Stop making excuses
We tend to blame external factors for our unhappiness rather than taking responsibility for our lives. But blaming doesn’t solve anything. It just keeps you stuck in the same place. Instead of complaining about something outside of yourself, take action to improve your situation.
For instance, if you notice that you always get upset over small problems, try changing your attitude towards them. Don’t let them bother you anymore – just say no to them. Say yes to positive changes in your life.
Don’t lose your precious time worrying about what could happen tomorrow.
Become a grateful person
If you are constantly comparing yourself with other people, you will never be happy. It is better to focus on the positive things about yourself instead of focusing on the negative things.
Think about everything you’ve accomplished in your life. Think about all the wonderful experiences you had along the way. Then ask yourself whether you could accomplish similar goals today. The answer should give you confidence in your ability to achieve success.
If you look back at your past accomplishments, you will discover many reasons to celebrate. Focus on the good stuff. Be thankful for every day you wake up alive.
Don’t forget to appreciate the little things in life. Appreciate the beauty around you. Notice the colors of flowers, trees, clouds, etc. Take note of the details of nature. Look closely at the patterns created by leaves falling onto the ground. Watch birds fly through the sky.
Remember that everyone has his/her own unique set of circumstances. No one is exactly alike. So, you shouldn’t expect to look like anyone else. Your appearance might be different from theirs because of genetics, age, gender, race, culture, etc.
Start your own gratitude journal and write down three or four things each day that you are grateful for. You don’t have to share it with anybody. Just keep doing it until you run out of ideas. This exercise will remind you of all the great things in your life.
Learn to love yourself
Learning to love yourself means accepting yourself unconditionally. If you judge yourself harshly, you will only end up feeling bad about yourself. And once you begin judging yourself negatively, it becomes easier to criticize others.
So learn to appreciate yourself for who you really are. Accepting yourself completely frees you from comparison, and you won’t have to worry about how you measure up against someone else.
When you accept yourself fully and unconditionally, you’ll stop being so hard on yourself. This will allow you to enjoy more moments of happiness on daily basis.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparison creates stress. Stress causes anxiety. Anxiety makes you unhappy. Unhappy people don’t think clearly or act rationally. In fact, they often behave irrationally.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, concentrate on what’s right about yourself. Remember that there are plenty of great qualities inside you waiting to come out.
You deserve respect. You’re an amazing human being! There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect as you are.
Focus on the positive aspects of your personality as all successful people do.
Keep a record of your accomplishments
If you want to be successful, you have to keep track of your progress. This way, you can see how far you’ve come and where you still need to go, and it also helps you avoid falling back into old habits.
Write down each accomplishment you make and any new skills you acquire. Keep this list handy so you can refer to it when you feel discouraged.
It may seem overwhelming at first, but if you practice recording these achievements regularly, you’ll soon get used to doing it. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself looking forward to writing them down.
Stop thinking about failure
Failure is part of life, and everyone fails sometimes. The key here is not to dwell on failures as perfect people don’t exist. Instead, focus on learning lessons from those experiences and stop wasting valuable time. Failure teaches us valuable information about ourselves. We gain insight into our strengths and weaknesses.
We become better prepared for future challenges. When we face setbacks, we know what to do differently next time.
Don’t be afraid of competition
If you are afraid of competition, then you should not compare yourself with other people. It is better to focus on your strengths and weaknesses instead of focusing on the weaknesses of others.
Competition motivates you to work harder than ever before. Competition pushes you to achieve goals faster, and it gives you something to strive towards to it isn’t a waste of time.
The best thing about competition is that it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose. What matters is that you try your hardest in order to succeed.
Self-love
Self-love means accepting yourself just the way you are. Self-love allows you to love yourself without having to compete with anyone else. We usually treat others better because we like seeing their good side. However, we tend to overlook our own qualities. That’s why we end up feeling inferior to everyone around us.
To overcome this problem, start by loving yourself. Appreciate all your wonderful traits. Then, tell yourself: “I’m awesome!” Say it over and over again until you believe it.
Learn to forgive yourself
Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you’ve made in the past. Forgiving yourself lets you move on with your life. If you hold onto negative feelings toward yourself, you’ll never truly heal.
Think of every mistake you’ve made as a lesson learned. Learn from your experience. Don’t let one bad decision ruin your entire life.
Ending note
The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. If you want to improve your business, health, or lifestyle, you need to focus on what you can control. And one of those things is your own actions.
So don’t compare yourself to others. Instead, look at what you did right and learn from it. Then repeat it. You will eventually reach success!
